I am so in love with this man right here.




John Cameron Mitchell.

withiel first intorduced me to him when he advised me to watch the film Hedwig and the Angry Inch. (Which is, as an aside, a truly awesome film), which JCM wrote and directed.

And this afternoon I watched the fim Shortbus, another one of his works. And I am happy to report that it was so very very good. Sweet and poignant with lots and lot of sex. I fully recommend it and tell you all to go watch it. After all how can you turn down a film with such classic lines as, "That's Alice. She's got a cunt like a wizard's sleeve. " and "These people spend all night sucking cock and eating ass, and then hit the buffet claiming they're vegan."

Wonderful stuff. Go see it. If anyone particualry feels the need I can send it to them over the interweb for no monies. Its that good, I dont mind sharing.

Love and hugs to all you folk. Hope you are all keeping well and happy.
If you are, wonderful, congratulations, watch this film to keep you that way.
And if not, then I send you love and this film on request to make you happy once more.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I am dazed and confused at present by recent relationship problems concerning myself. A lot of 'will they wont they?' and falling between several examples of this one after the other. It is destructive and not good. Mainly due to the lack of success in some form in each case. Success is probably the wrong word, but none of them have worked out nonetheless.

Anyone I have discussed this subject with in the past 3 months will know about which individual cases I am referring to. But I don't feel the need to name names to those who don't already know.

But I think I'm going to sit on the bench for a bit. Much less heartache involved that way. At least until I sort my rather fragile head out a bit anyway.

Thank you to all friends who have been helping me recently with this. I love you all dearly.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I have not posted on here in a very long time. So I felt the need to fill whoever reads this up on my life events of late. It will not be a full summary by any means but rather a few key points.

Firstly, I am unhappy. And am unsure why. I love my university, love my course, love the people here. But I miss folk from home. Lofty, Lexie, John, Helen, the Reprobates, Craig. And yet I remember how absolutely rubbish I felt during the Christmas holidays. There were far more people to miss from university. I am coming to realise that in (semi) adult life you cannot be with everyone you love all at once. When you are younger your globe is smaller. Everyone you know and love is pretty much close by. But as you get older you leave people behind when you move on, especially geographically, or they leave you in a similar fashion. It is really only when you return to the place you knew them, in my case High Wycombe mostly, that you are able to see them again. Of course people visit, but the dynamic changes and you have to show them your new world and spend so long doing so you forget to catch up with them. So I guess I miss people wherever I am. I am a needy creature. But of the 2 I prefer university, nicer habitat to be in I find.

So why am I not happy? Love life has been a bit chaotic of late. I have been silly enough most of this semester to make the very same mistake I did last semester. That is, playing too close to home. So when things explode, I cant escape the blast too easily. Also said boy is a) living with me next year and b) on rebound. Never a good combination. We messed around a few too many times when drunk and I got too heavily involved emotionally. Things seem to be clearing up there though. Actually managing to be as close friends as we were before rather than merely pretend so when things were still awkward as sin. After this escapade I decided to simply play around and not get involved emotionally with folk for a while where possible. So I went, ironically, with said boy to Goth Soc and pulled someone who at the time I thought was rather attractive. Ross. Oh lord was I wrong. I keep bumping into him since and wish I could crawl under a rock every time. Then I met Matt. On a taxi on the way home from 'Homophobia is gay bar crawl' and then the next week in DV8- gay bar in Birmingham. I assumed him to be gay, but was incorrect, he is bi. We kissed in DV8 and the next morning I was expecting to have the same problem as I did with Ross. I was wrong. We went on a date on Saturday and it was really surprisingly fun. Just saw a film and then met up with everyone in the Newt (rock pub) later on. But I had an awesome time and he texted me later expressing the same sentiment. All skippy I feel therefore.

So why am I not happy? A previously chaotic love life is now going well and I am in Birmingham, my lovely sanctuary in the midlands where I feel most at home and more importantly most like myself. I don't know what is wrong. Possibly hormonal? I have just come off the pill and am therefore rather messy in terms of hormones. But it feels more deep-seated than that. Bah. I don't know. Maybe I have nothing to worry about and this consequently worries me? Possible. But somehow unlikely.

I have a new piercing. That should definitely make me happy. I am getting a spiral down my left cartilage. So at present I have 3 black faced studs below each other that need to heal for 6 months and then have a spiral specially made and laced through. It will be pretty-full.

Why am I not happy? I have no idea. But I now need to go finish off my Egypt essay, email it to my tutor and get my ass into campus for my philosophy lecture at 1pm. First I think I'll go grab some breakfast. It being 8:40am it is a very reasonable time to do so.

Hopefully next update will come sooner and be happier than this one.

I should be doing work for my impending Logic seminar (which will start in approximately 30 mins, and for which I have not done the prescribed work load) but instead I went checking my emails and facebook accounts.
I’m posting this journal mainly for my own purposes so that I can find this wonderful photo easily rather than having to trawl through facebook, not remembering who it officially belongs to, which album they assigned it to, etc.

Yay Craig and his River costume. Yay.

I dont have much to say other than I love Birmingham university. It is a glorious place of joy. Also we have a mermaid fountain in the courtyard of our Guild. Thats another point, we have a guild, not an SU, because we are a 'red brick', dont you know. Wonderful suff.

That is all I have to contribute at this time.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/north_yorkshire/5365676.stm

Top Gear presenter Richard Hammond is critically ill in hospital after a crash in a jet-powered car while filming for the programme.

It's sad news indeed.

Had a rather lovely day today in London with my good friends. We went into Camden and spent most of the morning and early afternoon having a nice long browse round various shops and stalls there. I very proudly only bought a couple of badges for my bag and some food whilst in Camden; proof that if you don't take much money with you, you cant spend it what you cant afford to. (One of said badges got lost on the tube on the way home, however :( )
Then we pottered up to Oxford Street and let Helen skip around the huge Topshop there whilst the rest of us all sat in a nearby cafe.
Finally we wandered up on the tube to White City, to the home of the BBC, where we had free tickets to go see the filming of the glorious show, Mock the Week. On this weeks show we were entertained by Dara Ó Briain, Hugh Dennis, Frankie Boyle, Ed Byrne, Jo Brand, Andy Parsons and Robin Ince. It was so awesomely funny! 2 hours 40 minutes worth of filming for something that will be condensed down into 25-30 minutes worth of TV show. All for free. Glorious stuff indeed.
I shall go to sleep happy this evening.



Camden Loch (pictured above)

http://www.addictinggames.com/kittencannon.html

This game has been keeping me entertained for hours. You shoot a kitten from a cannon and see how high you can get it, the highest wins. Genius I say, genius!

Also, Im not sure if any of you will recall the wonder that is Frogger from your childhood?

http://www.neave.com/games/frogger/

Well there you go folks. Its so cool, I dont know how I had completely forgotten it.

Yes I realise that I have too much time on my hands if Im playing rubbish arcade games that came out in the 1980s, but still, I thought I should spread the joy.

Lukily this '80s exports do not contain images of Bonnie Tyler straddling a cannon, which seemed to happen everywhere you looked during that decade. God bless Bonnie.



Love and hugs to all.

xxxxxxx

In case you don't know, The Mean Fiddler have applied for planning permission to demolish London gig venue The Astoria (and The LA2, aka The Mean Fiddler etc) to re-develop as shops and offices.

Now I'm sure you all appreciate just exactly how much we all need even more shops and offices at the junction of Oxford Street, Tottenham Court Road and Charing Cross Road (right opposite the empty Centrepoint building) and it's not like there's an abundance of decent sized live music venues in Central London (in fact there isn't one other decent one for miles) so here's your chance to do something about it:

Sign the petition...Save The Astoria!

http://www.petitiononline.com/savethea/

There's the most beautiful thunderstorm going on over head at the moment. You forget how pretty they can be. Makes me happy.

On the other hand I am not the happiest of bunnies at present. I managed to bugger up my knee whilst at Thorpe Park with my friends yesterday and am now in quite a lot of pain. We all went en mass, around 26 of us, and had a lovely day in the sunshine. We went for two reasons, most importantly for Chrissy's birthday but also as a distraction from the impending exam results which we shall be receiving tomorrow. Basically my knee dislocated twice quite violently. Dislocation in itself isn't abnormal, my knees aren't at their best anyway, but said dislocations were very painful and took a long time to fix. The second specifically never fully went back in for about 4 hours. Lovely fun. Consequently my left knee now somewhat resembles a football. I have anti-inflammatory tablets to combat this and have been applying ice and keeping it elevated as instructed by the doctor. Pain in the ass though.

Still, I will content myself with the fireworks display of lightning and cloud going on outside my window. You really have to admire natural beauty at times like these.